I leave on Saturday for Savannah. This week feels like a dream that’s happening. I’m aware it’s passing but it doesn’t feel real, like it’s actually happening. I just feel like I’m drifting through the hours, not in anticipation or fear. More like, I’m a passenger in all this. I’m along for the ride.
I very much appreciate that, anon. I’ve been feeling slightly shitty about myself lately so your kindness is very welcome, haha. Hope you’re doing well. :)
I’m not in a relationship, no, anon. Why do you ask?
I just had a really lonely day for most of it. I feel like lately I keep failing at human interaction, a few notable interactions aside.
The Andalusia bees remember.
Beneath the quaking aspen shade,
they collect old songs built of legends
of the days we still shot on Kodachrome,
the silver halide crystals collecting light
with a soft grain luminescence, the way
our minds stitch together that evading
sense of aesthetic the world was drunk with
when we were wide-eyed babes.
Imported Chinese trees are sprouting up
in railroad banks, druidic groves warded
as the modern sacred by graffiti tags
where the new young mystics gather,
where they smoke and drink in furious
succession, medication for the soul
to offer them a momentary sense
of orgiastic newness, the dense bed
of maple, green and plastic serving
as an altar, following the pagan impulse,
that which Young Goodman Brown
succumbed to in the night, that which
lives within us always, but comes alive
as we are searching for our purpose.
My allergies are crazy bad so I have elected to take a bath and watch Star Trek on my laptop propped up nearby. It is occasionally a joy to be as clever as I can be.
I like being alone. I like the quiet, I think. I need it sometimes. It’s so lovely. I can paint the walls with fire light, memories, fantasies. I can trick myself into walking into a poem or a story. It’s very alive, silence. It lets you extend yourself, be as big as you are capable of being.
I got a lot of really sweet feedback on the spoken word. Thank you all. I’m glad you liked it. I’m gonna try performing again in the future. If I do, I’ll share it with you.