Donnie Darko (2001)
today i told my sister “well we all will die eventually” and she got mad at me and we had a huge fight and now i am alone so this makes a lot of sense to me today.
There’s nothing pessimistic about “we will all die eventually”. It’s the truth, and the longer we deny facing our inevitable death, the more we live in trite fear. But we don’t die alone, because we are never alone. The ‘self’ is an illusion, albeit a very convincing one. Ultimately, on a grand scale, we are a chunk of this planet that moves in accordance to the ebbs and flows of other things. We can not exist without the trees and the wind, providing oxygen. We are an incomplete system if viewed as one ‘thing’.
We’re just one little cell in the organism that is the earth, and your sister should stop being a butt to you. Love you, Ellen.
If I gave you
the bright holy
drowning in this
It’s the same patterns,
is a dressing for white bones.
Enter stage left: Your lines
are how you remember them,
they shift slightly with each
recollection, candlelight eyes
looking on like dim mirrors.
We play the roles
down empty streets still
wet with loose energy,
thinking of what is good
for all humanity found
in the act of devotion.
Do we wound each other
by giving ourselves utility?
Carved from potential to law,
we are burdened by our absolutes,
we inflict upon ourselves the terrible
labor of hope, the dream-speak of order,
all transitory seasons. Would we better off
if we asked nothing of ourselves? Of others?
Or must we press on, fighting for the cause,
that desperate window where all things are
as we would have them be. Do we believe
storms are worth the weathering on all sides
to stand inside, for just a fleeting breath,
its pure blue eye?
If my anxiety today has been any indication, this is going to be a lonely, stressful ass month.
march of the softer bees/yellow-jacket chemistry/teaching yourself not to want
(sketch of an ambient track)
Back in Savannah. It doesn’t feel real yet. Part of that is the sleep exhaustion. I just gotta nap this off but my mind is racing with good and bad thoughts.